Alright so I owe you guys an enormous apology for my absence..again.
I've just been totally demoralized by college lately, and the fact there's a young man who ran off with my heart and won't give it back..but I don't mind THAT so much. Just that he's not here himself

To tell the truth, I've not been drawing much, if anything.
I think the last time I actually put a pen to paper and was thoroughly pleased with what I did, was when he was here, in my week off college..half term and such.
Not to say I don't have things to show you guys, I just need to get around to scanning it in and sorting it out.

Also I'm meant to be getting Adobe CS3 at some point, WHEN is to be confirmed.
But in that case I might end doing more and won't be so absent.

It's not that I 'won't' draw so much as CAN'T.
I had a realization this week sitting in Illustration, getting increasingly frustrated and upset (yes I have really begun to hate my style of drawing, I think more for the fact that my lecturers don't like it and basically tell me I can't draw like that) that..I don't want to do it anymore. Draw I mean.
I've always thought I would do something to utilize what talent I've been given and build it into my career but...I can't continue to draw like this. FORCING myself to draw stuff that has no empathy, and that my hands don't want to...
Maybe there's just something wrong with me, getting totally demoralized over something like this but...I like to draw pictures with 'feelings' in them, and motion.
This static shit is really...too much to handle sometimes.
I don't think they understand that I don't like to copy other artists' work, or style kinda.

I don't know what else to say honestly. The majority of my absence isn't down to work/college related, just...the fact that I don't feel like doing it anymore.
I feel like I'm falling into a pit and only spurring on the speed I fall instead of being able to crawl out...and I haven't written this much in..uh...ever.

I guess it could just be a 'I need help!' cry but...seriously if I can't start drawing because I'm inspired, and because I 'want' to, I'm afraid I'm going to stop altogether.

And then where does that leave me? I'd love to be a writer but...writing is very personal, almost as personal as drawing and I don't show people a lot of my things that I've written. Not that I can't take crit you know...I enjoy that.

Also Dundee buses suck. Their timing is atrocious.

Anyway rambling over.


I apologize again to those people still waiting on stuff from me, I WILL get around to it eventually, even if in the quite literal sense, it kills me.

And I just wanted to say thanks to all the people faving my Wolf's Rain Wallpaper (lol 4th popular? o.0)
'Cause you all seem to like it so much I might do more, maybe take a vote on it if people care...aaaand I will put something forward that I've written for you guys to read, and I expect you to give me some critique on it k?
I only have rough sketched outlines of the thing as a whole but I'll get there eventually.